Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Updates, Stories, and Gripes, Oh My!

Ooooh, new colors...That's right, I've changed the color scheme of my blog from green to blue to better suit my new Blogger Navbar. See Aaron? It's not so hard to mess with your template after all. It took me all of 1 minute to add Meghan and Hannah to my "More Blogs" links.

This happened a few weeks ago shortly after I made my Taco Bell Awards, Part Deux blog, so I'll have to give it its own place in Taco Bell Blogdom:

Winner of the award for the "Best Slip-up"

An older man came through the drive-thru and placed his order. Towards the end of his order, he interjected that he wanted extra cheese. Since he had ordered several items, Miguel asked, "On everything?" And the old man replied, "Yes Ma'am...*pause*...SIR!!"

Of course I started to convulse with laughter which could be heard throughout the store, and Miguel said over the headset intercom, "Don't laugh Sean." I looked over at him and saw that he was laughing too except he was trying to hold it in at the same time so he could finish taking the order. I guess this gives me even more golden opportunities to jokingly call him Michelle instead of Miguel. At least I hope he knows I'm joking...hmm, why haven't I gotten a raise lately...?

I'm not a hateful person. I don't hate many things. I am quite tolerant of most situations. However, there is one thing I have come to despise. Can you guess what it is?

Bills? Taxes? Gas Prices? Squirrel over-population? Hick-inbreeding? The color brown? Stupid people? Reality TV shows?

Why yes, you're right! Well, I don't mind the color brown really, except when it's in a toilet, and Survivor is entertaining to watch, but all the rest of them suck.

But what really gets me as of late are those obnoxious motorized scooters that have become so popular seemingly overnight. And something I've noticed is that about 99% of the people that ride them are guys who either aren't old enough or talented enough to drive a car so they have to ride these mechanical blunderbusses that you can hear from several blocks away because they sound like a motorcycle with a jet engine strapped on the back of it which is running on a pure concentrated formula consisting of mosquitos who were bred in captivity and solely fed beans and trained by the Farting Champion of the World, Windy McAnus.

It's really annoying when these, for lack of a better word, farts come riding past my drive-thru with their jet scooters while I'm trying to take an order.

Customer: "Hi, I'd like a bean burrito with no onions, a nachos supreme with....faaaaarrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrtttt did you get that?"

Me: "What?"

And then when they come around my neighborhood, I can hear them off in the distance before I can even see them on my street. By the time I can actually see them, the noise emitting from their gaseous motors is already ear-splitting, and I can finally cast my eyes on the half-breed, helmet-wearing, hearing-impaired, hyena-like hooligans. Ah, if only America's great technology was put to something useful like a portable-instant-pop-up brick wall or a death ray gun. Then I'd be happy. Yes Ma'am!

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