Must...Get...Back...Into...The...Habit...Of...Blogging...
So here we go!
Impressive
I was taking orders at the second window, within earshot of Thaddus and a few other employees who were making the food. The customer wanted two separate orders, so I took both of the orders, repeated them back to ensure accuracy, and then said,
"It'll be $5.05 and $6.65 respectively at the second window."
The next thing I heard was the sound of Thaddus' jaw dropping as he exclaimed,
"Whoaaaaaa!!! Big word!!"
As I was saying the word "respectively", I was feeling proud that I used a word that added to the sentence so well, but I wasn't expecting any special reaction from anyone really. So the fact that Thaddus practically went into shock over hearing it made me feel like I had done something truly impressive, plus all of the employees who were nearby were amazed and in awe at my exemplary knowledge of the English language, probably because most of them only know a small handful of words in English (Break, Home, What, No, and to a lesser extent, Passport)
So my sarcastic response to Thaddus' remark was,
"I'm not an English major for nothin'!"
There's nothing quite like impressing someone with your extensive vocabulary only to follow up with a nice double negative. P-Dripple would be proud.
I...Uhh...
Customer: Do you have taco salads?
Me: Yes, we do.
Customer: Do they have lettuce in them?
Me: (Thinking to myself) Yes, hence the word "salad".
Me: (Aloud) Yes, they do.
Sometimes I wonder how much trouble I'd get in if people could see me while I'm taking their orders. I'm surprised my eyes don't roll right out of my head sometimes.
You Gotta Wonder...
A customer comes up to the drive-thru, gives his order, I take it and tell him to come to the first window. Naturally, he passes me and goes straight to the second window. One of the other employees over by the second window collects a $20 bill from the customer and brings it back to me, I make the change, and the employee brings it back to the second window only to find that the customer had left with his food already, minus his $8.01 in change. Hellllllooooo?!?
Too Much Information
Lady: (Orders some food for herself) ...and an order of nachos without cheese.
Me: Ok, so you just want a side of chips?
Lady: Yeah.
After I repeat her order and tell her what her total is, she drives up to my window, greets me, and says,
"The chips are for my dog."
I look at her, try my best to act mildly fascinated with this totally unnecessary piece of information she has just given me, and wonder who in their right mind would feed their dog tortilla chips from a fast food restaurant when you could just eat the dog and kill (pun intended) two hunger problems with one stone.
Too Much Information, Part Deux
A week or two ago, I stuck my head out of the drive-thru window and saw a moving truck illegally parked in about 4 parking spaces outside of the store. On the side of the truck was written the name of the business:
"Dungs Moving"
Needless to say, I was glad to hear it. I don't like being constipated either.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Friday, February 11, 2005
Random Humor Test Results
Thank you all for taking my test and putting up with my absence from blogging. I'm taking three literature classes this semester, 13 units in all, so I haven't had a lot of spare time to devote to blogging. But now I shall commence with the grading of the tests, and rest assured, I have some Taco Bell stories in mind for future blogs.
First of all, here are the correct answers to the test:
1. When was my first blog entry published?
a) January 23th, 2004
b) January 23rd, 2004
c) January 23nd, 2004
d) You have a blog?
2. What is the name of the famous caveman mentioned in my first blog entry?
a) Blog
b) Fluffy
c) Blarg
d) Shaquille O'Neal
3. When is my favorite time to start writing a blog entry?
a) As soon as I wake up, bright and early in the morning.
b) As soon as I wake up, bright and early in the afternoon.
c) After the sun goes down, ensuring that I don't finish until the wee hours of the morning.
d) Whenever the rubber chicken tells me to. (This is a trick. He doesn't tell me when to blog, I tell him when to blog. I'm just the pretty face behind the scenes. He's the real brains of this operation)
4. Who is my favorite superhero?
a) Superman
b) Radioactive Man
c) Mucus Man
d) That little Japanese Guy who can eat over 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes.
5. Choose the correct answer to this sentence: "Hi, would you like any hot or mild sauce?"
a) Yes, please.
b) No, thank you.
c) Yeah, I want a LOT of sauce.
d) Gee, your hair smells delicious.
6. Have I ever actually hit anyone with a tire iron?
a) Yes
b) No (Not yet...)
c) Once, but he deserved it.
d) Who hasn't?
7. What was my favorite TV show when I was a little kid?
a) Seseme Street
b) Sewing with Fran
c) Static
d) Wheel of Fortune
8. What is a "River Snake"
a) The name of a river.
b) The name of a snake.
c) Poop.
d) A special ingredient that rude customers get in their burrito. (Just kidding...or am I?)
9. I have never lost money from people trying to scam me at work.
a) True
b) False
c) All of the above
d) None of the above
10. I have been known to wear a piano at formal occasions from time to time.
a) True
b) False (I can't find one in my size)
11. Do monkeys really have pockets?
a) Yes, stupid.
b) No.
c) Of course, they need to put their Ex-Lax somewhere.
d) Yes, otherwise they wouldn't be able to use this pick-up line: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
All answers are acceptable.
12. Fill in the blank: What is my tortoise's name? Floyd.
13. Fill in the blanks: Shya! And monkeys could fly out of my butt.
14. What is the most carbonated mountain range in the world?
a) The Rocky Mountains
b) The Himalayas
c) The Appalachians
d) The Sierra Nevadas
15. BEEEEEEEEEEEP?
a) BEEP! (Loosely translated: What?)
b) BEEEEEP! (Loosely translated: What did?)
c) BEEEEEEEEEP! (Loosely translated: What did you?
d) BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! (Loosely translated: What did you say?)
16. Fill in the blank: What is the absolute coolest rap persona ever created? P-Dripple of the Wet Side Slacks.
17. Which of the following is NOT an actual comment I received from one of my fellow college students about my story, Darkside?
a) I like how it is so suddle.
b) I like the honesty you can tell this character isnt completely sain.
c) Best...Story...EVER! (Though this would have been a cool comment to get)
d) I came in late to class and only herd 1/4 of it. and new what this story was aimin toward. Awsome delivery soft and the begging hard punch in the middle and smooth drive at the end.
18. What is that thing with the sauce on it?
a) Your guess is as good as mine.
b) The Quesadilla.
c) The Bean Burrito.
d) The Chalupa that one of the employees sneezed on. (One of the employees actually did this, and was about to try and cover it up and use it anyway, but I was appaled at that and made him throw it away and make a new one)
19. How old am I?
a) 4 (Mentally)
b) 15
c) 20 (Physically)
d) Whatever age my fake ID says I am.
23. Extra Credit: What number am I thinking of right now?
a) 3
b) 157
c) 1117
d) WRONG!!!
Congratulations to Isaiah for giving the best answer to this question, but he called me an idiot, so his answer is nullified.
So, according to my calculations, these are the results:
1st Place: Erica
2nd Place: Aaron
3rd Place: Isaiah
Most Creative: Beniy
Most Anonymous: Scot
Honorable Mention: Grace (Hey, you got 2 out of 2 right, you got a perfect score!)
Congratulations Erica!!! For your prize, you get a cookie. However, you must collect it from the "Keeper of the Cookies". Good luck getting it from him, I don't think he'll be very keen on giving it up...
First of all, here are the correct answers to the test:
1. When was my first blog entry published?
a) January 23th, 2004
b) January 23rd, 2004
c) January 23nd, 2004
d) You have a blog?
2. What is the name of the famous caveman mentioned in my first blog entry?
a) Blog
b) Fluffy
c) Blarg
d) Shaquille O'Neal
3. When is my favorite time to start writing a blog entry?
a) As soon as I wake up, bright and early in the morning.
b) As soon as I wake up, bright and early in the afternoon.
c) After the sun goes down, ensuring that I don't finish until the wee hours of the morning.
d) Whenever the rubber chicken tells me to. (This is a trick. He doesn't tell me when to blog, I tell him when to blog. I'm just the pretty face behind the scenes. He's the real brains of this operation)
4. Who is my favorite superhero?
a) Superman
b) Radioactive Man
c) Mucus Man
d) That little Japanese Guy who can eat over 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes.
5. Choose the correct answer to this sentence: "Hi, would you like any hot or mild sauce?"
a) Yes, please.
b) No, thank you.
c) Yeah, I want a LOT of sauce.
d) Gee, your hair smells delicious.
6. Have I ever actually hit anyone with a tire iron?
a) Yes
b) No (Not yet...)
c) Once, but he deserved it.
d) Who hasn't?
7. What was my favorite TV show when I was a little kid?
a) Seseme Street
b) Sewing with Fran
c) Static
d) Wheel of Fortune
8. What is a "River Snake"
a) The name of a river.
b) The name of a snake.
c) Poop.
d) A special ingredient that rude customers get in their burrito. (Just kidding...or am I?)
9. I have never lost money from people trying to scam me at work.
a) True
b) False
c) All of the above
d) None of the above
10. I have been known to wear a piano at formal occasions from time to time.
a) True
b) False (I can't find one in my size)
11. Do monkeys really have pockets?
a) Yes, stupid.
b) No.
c) Of course, they need to put their Ex-Lax somewhere.
d) Yes, otherwise they wouldn't be able to use this pick-up line: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
All answers are acceptable.
12. Fill in the blank: What is my tortoise's name? Floyd.
13. Fill in the blanks: Shya! And monkeys could fly out of my butt.
14. What is the most carbonated mountain range in the world?
a) The Rocky Mountains
b) The Himalayas
c) The Appalachians
d) The Sierra Nevadas
15. BEEEEEEEEEEEP?
a) BEEP! (Loosely translated: What?)
b) BEEEEEP! (Loosely translated: What did?)
c) BEEEEEEEEEP! (Loosely translated: What did you?
d) BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! (Loosely translated: What did you say?)
16. Fill in the blank: What is the absolute coolest rap persona ever created? P-Dripple of the Wet Side Slacks.
17. Which of the following is NOT an actual comment I received from one of my fellow college students about my story, Darkside?
a) I like how it is so suddle.
b) I like the honesty you can tell this character isnt completely sain.
c) Best...Story...EVER! (Though this would have been a cool comment to get)
d) I came in late to class and only herd 1/4 of it. and new what this story was aimin toward. Awsome delivery soft and the begging hard punch in the middle and smooth drive at the end.
18. What is that thing with the sauce on it?
a) Your guess is as good as mine.
b) The Quesadilla.
c) The Bean Burrito.
d) The Chalupa that one of the employees sneezed on. (One of the employees actually did this, and was about to try and cover it up and use it anyway, but I was appaled at that and made him throw it away and make a new one)
19. How old am I?
a) 4 (Mentally)
b) 15
c) 20 (Physically)
d) Whatever age my fake ID says I am.
23. Extra Credit: What number am I thinking of right now?
a) 3
b) 157
c) 1117
d) WRONG!!!
Congratulations to Isaiah for giving the best answer to this question, but he called me an idiot, so his answer is nullified.
So, according to my calculations, these are the results:
1st Place: Erica
2nd Place: Aaron
3rd Place: Isaiah
Most Creative: Beniy
Most Anonymous: Scot
Honorable Mention: Grace (Hey, you got 2 out of 2 right, you got a perfect score!)
Congratulations Erica!!! For your prize, you get a cookie. However, you must collect it from the "Keeper of the Cookies". Good luck getting it from him, I don't think he'll be very keen on giving it up...
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