Friday, July 16, 2004

Career Shmeer

Well, after putting it off for as long as possible, I suppose it's time to give some thought as to what I want to do for a living. I've never really had a clear-cut vision as to what I want to do...I've had ideas but nothing has ever really struck me as being "The Thing" for me.

So I went to the career center at my college to do some "Career Assessments", which are basically tests which are supposed to give you some insight as to what you might like to do. Of course it didn't do diddly-squat for me. Though I did enjoy browsing through different jobs types...
For example, one of the tests was an online quiz that asked me some incredibly general questions like "Are you interested in activities that use tools, machines or objects, in working outside, or physical labor and using your hands?" (i.e. manual laborer, street monkey) and "Do you add, subtract, multiply and divide whole numbers, decimals and fractions with little difficulty, or can you work with abstract numbers and complex mathematical relationships?" (Mathematical Relationships?)
This last question threw me off because I didn't know math had any relationships. I thought math was just a lonely subject that always got picked on by the cooler subjects and sat off in the corner by itself during recess. Since when does math have any outside relationships anyway? It must be having a secret affair with an equally boring and nerdy subject like Astronomy (Ok class, which Power of the Cosmos made THAT star?) or Health Education (Basically, what you learn is don't eat anything that tastes good, exercise 15 hours a day, never drink alcohol, and you should live a long and healthy life of boredom.)
But this new revelation of mathematical relationships does clear up some things. This explains why math went from "2 + 2 = 7" to "Find the circumference of a hemorrhoidal circle using proofs to show the congruity of the imbedded right angle within the OH SHUT UP ALREADY!!"
Simple adding and subtracting math must have BRED with some corrupt and devilish subjects to produce the math of today, like Geometry, Trigonometry, Calculus, and Mormonism. Basically, anything with the suffix "metry" is inherently evil and should be banned from teaching in public schools. Also, it would be advisable to make special alterations to certain subjects to have them banned from schools also, like Calcumetry, Frenchometry, Astronometry, and Barbiemetry (Cheerleading).
Anyway, back to the quiz I took. As I expected, freelance writer, journalist, novelist, editor, and careers like that were on there. But there were also much more strange and down-right weird career suggestions for me, like clown, perfumer, tattoo and body artist, ballet dancer, storm chaser, and so on. You know, the types of sucker jobs that people who don't do well in high school end up with, like joining the armed forces.
Also, something I noticed was that if you didn't answer any of the questions, and you went straight to the career selections, there were a bunch of jobs that basically required next to nothing skill/talent-wise. These included trash collector, farm laborer, aggressive inline skater, window washer, and quite possibly the worst job in the world: Medical Transcriptionist.
The description of a Medical Transcriblahblah is: "Listen to recordings made by medical doctors and put their words to paper. You'll translate medical terminology into everyday language." Then deeper in the description, it says: "Transcriptionist T.J. Currey says it's more demanding than people think...Some physicians insist on eating or shuffling papers while they are dictating. It makes it awfully hard to hear them sometimes."
Good night. As if trying to understand what customers are saying in the drive-thru wasn't hard enough. Plus you have to memorize all the cryptic medical terminology and deal with all the accents of the crazy foreign doctors with names like Arabuyyah Montousson III, Killum N. Run, and Miya Carisexpensive.

So I guess knowing what I don't want to do is a step in the right direction. Maybe if I eliminate every job I don't want to do, I'll be left with my one dream job. Or maybe my blog will become famous world-wide and I'll get paid for blogging and I'll be inducted into the Blogger Hall of Fame and and and...Or maybe I'll just have to find a real job. Shya, and monkeys could fly out of my butt.

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