Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Don't Forget to Flush

Recently, at Taco Bell, we not only have had our automated greeting machine disabled, but we have been given a general rubric of what to say to the customers. Now, we are supposed to say something along the lines of, "Hi, how are you doing today?" to every customer that comes to the drive-thru. I suppose this is nice and all, but does the average customer really care if some random cashier asks how they are doing? Most customers don't even listen to what the drive-thru person says, especially since most of the time they are asked if they would like to try some promotional item that they really don't want. I think I prove my point with the following quote that a customer said to me:

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: No thanks.

On a school-related note, I was assigned to write a 14-line sonnet for one of my Brit Lit classes. It has to start with the line "Shall I compare thee to...", and the rest is up to me. I figured that since I haven't been able to have much creative leeway in my assignments this year, that I'd let out all my frustration from having to write "serious" (translation: "boring") essays and reading responses by being completely random, silly, and disgusting for this assignment. Enjoy!

An Ode To Poop

Shall I compare thee to a soggy log
Floating in the murky depths of a porcelain lake?
Thou art slender as a rocket
And as chunky as peanut butter
Thy colors art ever-changing
From breakfast, lunch, and dinner
How refreshing it is to hear your victorious ploop!
And feel the inevitable splash of cold water that follows
Thy aromatic smell flirts with my nostrils
As it wafts its way all throughout the room
Inviting me to look down…
And thus, I must ask this question:
Is that a fecal gold mine, newly born?
Or have I just been eating corn?

No comments: