Saturday, May 14, 2005

I Don't Get No Respect

No respect at all.

Ever since I've had to say, "Hi, how are you doing today?" to the customers at my Taco Bell, I've gotten the feeling more and more that no one listens and/or no one cares about anything I say when I'm working the drive-thru.

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: Just one taco.

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: *silence*

About 15 seconds passed, and then apparently the lady in the car rolled her window down because I could now hear the end of what seemed to be an extremely important phone conversation the significance of which I was not worthy or important enough to comprehend at that period of my life and which obviously couldn't be put on hold for half a minute just because she was at the drive-thru. She was most likely confirming her pet Poodle Champion of the World's hairstyling and fecal deodorizer appointment or some similarly illustrious daily chore. The lady in the car said her goodbyes to her equally distinguished counterpart, and then impatiently turned her exceedingly important attention to the order menu, and uttered an indignant "HELLO?!?" as if suddenly I was the one at fault and I was making HER wait.

So I gave her a questioning-as-if-to-say-why-are-you-giving-me-an-attitude? "Hi...?", and she proceeded to dictate her order to me in a condescending manner. So I made her a special burrito, and you'd better believe this one wasn't deodorized.

Of course, not everyone is snobbish to me. Some people do listen to what I say, but just don't have the presence of mind to form a coherent and articulate response.

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: Hungry is how I'm doing!

And then some people are too irritable to take a joke.

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: Do you have fish tacos yet?
Me: No, sorry, we don't.
Customer: *Assorted grunts and groans* Ok, I'll take a steak taco, no, make it two.

At the window, I jokingly teased him and said in a very lighthearted voice:

Me: Steak is almost like fish!

This customer was quite a surly looking fellow who didn't look like he'd shaven for a few days, and had a cigarette hanging out of one side of his mouth. He looked like the kind of guy who experiences excruciating pain when he smiles, so he maintains a poker faced frown at all times. And apparently, my silly comment that attempted to chip through his hard-nosed exterior into his gooey and potentially-hilarity-filled innards failed, and bounced off only to hit an innocent bystander three miles away, causing him to break out into a fit of laughter and fall down into a nearby busy intersection, causing a chain reaction pileup injuring thirty people, decapitating a very confused and disoriented-looking giraffe, and stubbing the big toe of the very conveniently placed "World's Biggest Foot" Man.

But that is beside the point.

Getting back to the story, his resentful response to what I said was:

Customer: No it isn't.

At that point, I pretty much figured it wasn't worth my time or effort to try and make this guy crack a smile anymore, so I just let the joke die, right next to that poor misplaced giraffe.

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