The Best Part of Waking Up...

...evidently isn't all that great unless certain people get their breakfast burritos.

Something needs to be set straight. Just because Taco Bell serves burritos doesn't mean we cater to every type of burrito need. I guess some people just don't know that. Apparently, it's a common misconception that our Taco Bell carries breakfast burritos when in fact, we don't.

1. Last Saturday, I was working from 9-5, and at around 9:30 or so, the first drive-thru customer of my day came, and asked me the following question:

Customer: What do you have for breakfast?
Me: The Taco Bell menu.
Customer: Do you have breakfast burritos?
Me: No we don't...(While I am saying this, he interrupts me and says...)
Customer: I don't see them on the menu.
Me: *rolls eyes*
Customer: Ok, I'll take two breakfast burritos.
Me: We don't have breakfast burritos.
Customer: You don't have breakfast burritos?
Me: No we don't.

And he leaves.

2. The VERY NEXT customer comes through a short while later, and asks the following:

Customer: Do you have breakfast burritos?
Me: No, we don't...

And he leaves.

3. The VERY NEXT customer after that, a woman this time, comes through and asks:

Customer: Do you have coffee?
Me: No we don't, sorry.
Customer: Ok, thanks.

And she leaves.

4. The next customer orders something we actually sell, so that was nice. But the next car to come after him, two ladies, come a-ordering:

Customer: I'll take a small raspberry iced tea and a medium pepsi.
Me: Ok, anything else?
Customer: No thanks.
Me: Ok, $2.35 at the very first window please. Thank you.

So naturally, after my very clear directions, they proceed to drive past the very first window without even glancing at it, so I shout, "Hey! Right here!" The driver stops, backs up, looks at me innocently and says, "Oh, I didn't see you there."

NO KIDDING!! That's what happens when you a) Don't listen to directions, and b) Don't open your eyes and look where you're going. The line, "Oh, I didn't see you there" has about as much validity as saying "Oh, I didn't know that was yours" to the Fire Department after using one of their truck's fire hoses to play with a Slip N' Slide. If I had a nickel for every time someone drove past my window without paying, I'd have enough money to fix a few of the transmissions which will probably retire at an early age due to excessive gear shifting.

I Don't Get No Respect

No respect at all.

Ever since I've had to say, "Hi, how are you doing today?" to the customers at my Taco Bell, I've gotten the feeling more and more that no one listens and/or no one cares about anything I say when I'm working the drive-thru.

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: Just one taco.


Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: *silence*

About 15 seconds passed, and then apparently the lady in the car rolled her window down because I could now hear the end of what seemed to be an extremely important phone conversation the significance of which I was not worthy or important enough to comprehend at that period of my life and which obviously couldn't be put on hold for half a minute just because she was at the drive-thru. She was most likely confirming her pet Poodle Champion of the World's hairstyling and fecal deodorizer appointment or some similarly illustrious daily chore. The lady in the car said her goodbyes to her equally distinguished counterpart, and then impatiently turned her exceedingly important attention to the order menu, and uttered an indignant "HELLO?!?" as if suddenly I was the one at fault and I was making HER wait.

So I gave her a questioning-as-if-to-say-why-are-you-giving-me-an-attitude? "Hi...?", and she proceeded to dictate her order to me in a condescending manner. So I made her a special burrito, and you'd better believe this one wasn't deodorized.


Of course, not everyone is snobbish to me. Some people do listen to what I say, but just don't have the presence of mind to form a coherent and articulate response.

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: Hungry is how I'm doing!


And then some people are too irritable to take a joke.

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: Do you have fish tacos yet?
Me: No, sorry, we don't.
Customer: *Assorted grunts and groans* Ok, I'll take a steak taco, no, make it two.

At the window, I jokingly teased him and said in a very lighthearted voice:

Me: Steak is almost like fish!

This customer was quite a surly looking fellow who didn't look like he'd shaven for a few days, and had a cigarette hanging out of one side of his mouth. He looked like the kind of guy who experiences excruciating pain when he smiles, so he maintains a poker faced frown at all times. And apparently, my silly comment that attempted to chip through his hard-nosed exterior into his gooey and potentially-hilarity-filled innards failed, and bounced off only to hit an innocent bystander three miles away, causing him to break out into a fit of laughter and fall down into a nearby busy intersection, causing a chain reaction pileup injuring thirty people, decapitating a very confused and disoriented-looking giraffe, and stubbing the big toe of the very conveniently placed "World's Biggest Foot" Man.

But that is beside the point.

Getting back to the story, his resentful response to what I said was:

Customer: No it isn't.

At that point, I pretty much figured it wasn't worth my time or effort to try and make this guy crack a smile anymore, so I just let the joke die, right next to that poor misplaced giraffe.