Friday, February 25, 2011

If God had a Facebook Page...

His profile picture would be a burning bush.

He would run out of room in the About Me section of His profile, so it would just say, "For more information, read The Bible".

He would send friend requests to everyone on Facebook, and if you decline it, He would send it again until you accept it.

He would max out His capability to add friends millions of times over.

Religious views would simply say “I Am.”

Political views would say “Theocracy”.

Instead of three pull down menus for the day/month/year of His birthday, there would be two pull down menus that each had one option: Alpha; Omega.

Languages would just say “Silence”.

Favorite movies would be "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", proving once and for all that God does have a sense of humor.

If God poked you, you would feel it.

His wall would consist of people asking “Are you there?”, “Did you get my message?”, and “Did you see that good deed I just did?”

God would always be online to chat. You'd never see a little moon next to His name.

His ad sidebar would consist of the following ads: "Get your halo 50% shinier, or your money back!", "Are your clouds as fluffy as they can be?", and "Watch 'When Popes Attack', a new Fox Special, airing tonight at 8/7 central."

His login password would be the entire book of Leviticus, no spaces. He would type it all in three seconds.

Instead of a “like” button, He would have a “love” button, and He would “love” everything that shows up on His feed.

His status would be permanently set as “Take up your cross and follow Me.”

He would have one event pending at all times. It would be called "Second Coming", and the date would be "Soon". All His friends are invited, but He is still "Awaiting Reply" from all of them.

If He ever edits any part of His profile after joining, His friends would receive the following message in their feeds:

“God changed his profile.”

Christians worldwide would go into a panic, screaming, “CHANGE?? WHAT CHANGED?!?!?”

And finally...

Could God make a Facebook page so popular that even He couldn’t “like” it?

1 comment:

Wendy said...

Sean,
I "love" THIS! :)
-Godmama